Feeling Awful & Gaining Perspective

Tuesday’s exuberance did land me in bed on Wednesday, but I felt pretty good on Thursday and was able to enjoy the day. The pain came back after I got home on Friday and stuck with me through the weekend.

For peace of mind, I’m going to treat this as two separate headache events. I don’t want to believe that I paid for a great 16 hours with 72 hours of agony. Honestly, though, I would have paid that much for having such a good day.

What I hate is that I had looked forward to spending time with Hart over the weekend. Not only was I in pain and not up to leaving the house, I was grumpy. Every little thing sent me into a tailspin. Like the realization that I will probably never travel to Iceland because sulfur triggers headaches for both Hart and me. (This isn’t as esoteric as it seems — Iceland has been my dream destination for a few years.)

When we decided that traveling was much more important to than spending
our money on stuff, it felt like the world was open to us. To have an outside force decide for me that I can’t fulfill a dream angered me.

It didn’t take long remember that I’m lucky to even consider taking a trip there. Many people don’t get to travel at all. I still have a choice, even if I can’t go where I hoped to go. So my choices are narrowed by one country. Big deal.

While it sucks to be in pain all the time, I appreciate how often it encourages me to think of what I do have. Regular doses of perspective are a great benefit of having a chronic illness.

I haven’t been up to responding to comments or e-mail. Know that I haven’t forgotten you! I think I’ll be able to get to all of it by tomorrow night.

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